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The One Question We Ask Before Every Renovation

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May 26, 2026

On May 26, 2026

Someone asked me in my DMs how we decide what’s worth the spend on a renovation. I’ve been thinking about it all week, because the honest answer has changed a lot over the years — but the question we actually ask has stayed exactly the same.

I’ll get to it in a second. First: the stair reno.

Chris and I renovated our front staircase before we moved into this home and that was, in retrospect, absolutely not worth it. It looks great. I pulled an inspiration image and designed it before we even moved in. It cost a lot. I’m not sure I drooled over those stairs one single time in the years that have followed. Lesson learned, filed away, tuition paid.

It’s the kind of mistake that teaches you the right question, which is this:

Will this look and feel X dollars better?

That’s the whole gut check. Not “will this add to resale” (we’re not house flippers, and we’ve never pretended to be). Not “is this what a designer would do.” Just: if we spend this specific amount on this specific project, will we walk through this room every day and feel it? Will the house feel X dollars more like us?

Sometimes the answer is an immediate yes. Sometimes it’s a no, and the project quietly gets shelved. Sometimes it’s a not yet, which is its own answer — we’ve learned to renovate in phases so we can spend where it counts now and revisit the rest later. Some of my favorite rooms in this house were built in three trips, not one.

The other thing that changed everything for us: budgeting first. When a project has already been given its number, every decision inside that number feels allowed. The tile isn’t a splurge — it’s the tile. The light fixture isn’t a stretch — it’s the fixture we said yes to. No guilt. No renegotiating with yourself at checkout. Just a clean set of decisions inside a line you already drew.

Julia working at the desk in the study with no wires or cables in sight

Needs still come before wants — when mold showed up on the exterior of our last house, the kitchen I’d been dreaming about got pushed back, and that’s just how it goes. But when something is a want, the question is always the same one. Will we use this every day? Will it make the house feel more like us? Will it look and feel X dollars better?

If yes, it usually earns its place.

P.S. The stairs, for the record, were gorgeous. I regret nothing about how they looked and everything about what they cost. A renovation can be both of those things at once. That’s the whole lesson.